Posted by: Redgeek | November 22, 2017

Survive: The Mushroom Kingdom

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Nintendo’s Mushroom Kingdom. Home to fungus and angry turtles. Lava pits, pipes,  and sentient clouds. How long could I survive in this fantastical world?

The Mushroom Kingdom is ruled by a monarchy but she’s at least kind. Lot’s of bricks and bottomless pits in the way, but plenty of power-ups to get around safely. I’ll need them against Bowser’s forces because I don’t think the Mushroom Kingdom has a police force. The Mario Bros. are basically it, so I can’t expect help from them if they’re constantly out saving the princess.

Not sure how the Mushroom government works. Who keeps the trains on time if Princess Peach is always getting kidnapped? Doesn’t matter, I’ll just collect coins with my power-ups and buy whatever I need. Better be careful not to rent a haunted house. Maybe get a cloud house in the Sky World, away from all that royal dragon turtle drama. Don’t wanna get caught in the middle of a battle—Hammer Bros. or Bullet Bills are not my idea of fun. Yep, gathering coins and power-ups then laying low in some area away from Peach’s castle is my best bet. Does Mushroom Kingdom have electricity? That’s a huge deal breaker if not. I think it does in some places. It’s got planes and other machines.

Okay, considering access to money, possible housing locations and the overall state of a kingdom at war, I think I can survive living in the Mushroom Kingdom for:

One Month

Granted, if I don’t instantly die from Bowser’s minions, I’ll find a nice place away from civilization. Safe, but bored, I’ll decide to become a kart racer—using my boost starting skills to rise up the rankings, putting it all on the line on the final track, Rainbow Bridge, where I’ll fall off the side to my death. Screw you, Rainbow Bridge.

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