Posted by: Redgeek | November 26, 2017

Survive: Beach City [Steven Universe]

beach city00

Beach City, home to Steven Universe and the Crystal Gems. Remember, his name’s Steven. Don’t worry if you forget, the show will constantly remind you, repeating his name at least twenty times an episode.

Tangent, sorry. I moved to Beach City. How long can I survive? The Crystal Gems can take care of any gem related problem, just have to keep my distance from their HQ. Will need a job, the Big Donut has an opening. May as well make myself the manager, more money for me.

Guess I’ll live in an apartment near the Big Donut. Do they have apartments in Beach City? Well, if not, I can live in a motel until I can afford my own house. Maybe learn martial arts or get a motorcycle in case a gem threat goes down. I can sorta protect myself or escape on my bike.

Okay, considering the price of living, intergalactic threats, and abundance of heart-filled talks involving healthy displays of emotion, I can probably survive in Beach City for: 

Forty-seven Days

Most likely I’ll get sentenced to death by a jury of my Beach City peers for the murder of Lars after his inevitable return to the planet. He’ll somehow get his job back at Big Donut, dealing with his crap until I snap his neck. Man, I hate that kid. Hold on…can he die now? Does killing him count when he already died once? I demand a mistrial!

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