How long can I survive in my favorite Pokemon region?
Let’s start with the basics. No, actually let’s start with that ariados about to attack me. I hate spiders! I escape but need a pokemon. Don’t have a fishing rod so no water pokemon for me, damn—love my water pokes. Okay, no choice but to grab that wild metapod. Takes a while but it evolves into a butterfree. Beat down a couple six-year old’s level four rattata and get enough money to buy my Big Butt (butterfree’s name) a pokeball.
I can live off berries but need a job. I buy more pokeballs and start catching pokemon, but since I’m not officially registered I can’t catch more than six, no PC boxes. So much for becoming a Gym Leader. It’s the underground pokeworld for me. I use my perfectly balanced team of six pokemon (Butterfree [Big Butt], Raichu [Evil Pikachu, I should change its name], Gengar [Gengar, Was in a hurry that day], Azumarill [Wizard of Az], Sandslash [Prince, everyone should have a pokemon named after Prince], and Umbreon [Fido, so hipster]) and begin building my reputation as a strong pokemon trainer, getting the attention of Team Rocket. Won’t take long before I’m an executive, mowing down some punk kid with a typhlosion who thought he could mess with me.
Team Rocket ultimately does dissolve leaving me to form my own group, Team Tricycle. See, it’s non-threatening so the cops won’t take us seriously. In a couple years, I’ll build enough power to…what the hell am I trying to do again? Oh, yeah, survive. I’m just having so much fun!
Okay, factoring the time taken to catch and train pokemon, the amount of wild pokemon, and sheer annoyance of pokemon contests, I can survive the Johto Region for…
After living the high life as boss of Team Tricycle, I decide to retire, living a quiet life in Aloha region. To my dismay I’m killed by a blacephalon who explodes in my face because I thought it was a clown giving out free malasada samples.