Sour Commander Smoothie? A One Piece Rant.

One Piece Theorists. People, fans, in love with One Piece so much they can’t help but talk and theorize the snot out the pirate series. I put myself in that category, even if I don’t talk about it often here. Mostly because I’ve fallen out of love with One Piece. I like it a LOT, but if I had to talk about it constantly I’ll only be complaining and I don’t want that. Well, I don’t want that all the time.

I love listening/reading (thought-provoking) One Piece opinions and theories though. Mostly in forums but do subscribe to some One Piece theory YouTube channels (The ones that don’t put a freaking spoiler thumbnail in reviews. I hate that!). And boy, did one of them tick me off today. I wasn’t going to link to his video, but considering a few at most read anything I say it doesn’t matter. Plus, while I disagree with Joy Boy, I’m still subscribed and mature enough not to do otherwise because his opinion differs about a Japanese pirate comic series. I got 99 problems and Joy Boy ain’t one. Seriously, check out his videos.

Joy Boy’s Smoothie video outlines his opinions on her and Smoothie haters. Again, nothing world breaking. I’m not so much upset as disappointed with Joy Boy. I respect his opinion, but it seems he’s taking a wishy-washy stance on Smoothie’s role in Big Mom’s arc. He acknowledges she hasn’t lived up to her Sweet Commander title but throws it back at fans. We didn’t give Smoothie the title of one of the most powerful Big Mom Pirates crew members. We didn’t draw Smoothie hardly doing anything of importance throughout the entire arc. There is nothing Smoothie did, baring her devil fruit powers, that couldn’t be done by anyone else. She wasn’t a Sweet Commander. She was a lackey. A grunt.

Meet The Geek: Eiichiro Oda

RG: Hello! I’m Redgeek and welcome to Meet The Geek. Today, I have with me the esteemed creator of One Piece, Mr. Eiichiro Oda. Oda-sensei, I must say it is an honor, pleasure, and privilege to talk with you today.

Oda: I know. Just kidding! Hahahaha!!!! Hey buddy! What’s up?

RG: Wow! I had no idea you spoke English so well.

Oda: Oh, yeah yeah. I know a couple words and phrases. Good for you or this interview would be impossible.

RG: Yeeeeeeeah. *cough cough* So, why don’t you like being photographed? Is it because you’re too busy?

Oda: Oh, no! Because I’m too gorgeous! I don’t want my lovely face to distract my fans from my manga. It’s not fair for them to choose between that or me.

RG: I see. Now, how do you fee-

Oda: Japanese George Clooney! Yeah! That’s what I am. The Japanese George Clooney of manga.

RG: Right. You work hard. Fans know you spend almost every waking hour on One Piece. How do you feel about scanlators translating your story?

Oda: I hope everyone able to purchase One Piece where they live support it. My dream is for One Piece to be available for everyone to enjoy in the world.

RG: I see. So, you have no problem with fans living somewhere One Piece isn’t available reading a scanlation from Mangapanda or-?

Oda: FUCK MANGAPANDA! Have you seen what those asshats do to my baby?! Horrible translations and that God damn watermark?! Who the hell do they think they are treating my life’s work like that?! I’ll never forgive them!

RG: Woah.

Oda: I’m pissed! If you’re going to rip me off at least do it with respect! They don’t care about me or my fans, only being the fastest. Scumbags!

RG: Yeah, but what can you do?

Oda: You mean besides using my vast manga money to hire a crack team of assassins to find and murder them while they sleep? Don’t worry, papa Oda got this. They may try to RUN RUN RUN or Fight Together but I Believe One Day I’ll Share The World news of Mangapanda never Wake Up again. Sorry, forgive my English.

RG: No problem. Let’s move on. How do you respond to fans criticizing you about your treatment of women in the series?

Oda: Yes, I want to say how sorry I am for early form Alvida, Ms. Merry Christmas, Jora, Big Mom and others. I know it’s disgusting but they are needed in the story. Please be patient with them.

RG: Huh?

Oda: Ugly girls. No one likes them but they are needed to make the other girls more beautiful.

RG: No no, Oda. The problem some fans have is you drawing only beautiful, large breasted, super skinny women in One Piece.

Oda: Wha?

RG: Yeah. They want you to draw more physically diverse women.

Oda: I don’t understand. Are you saying people like ugly women and small breasts?

RG: No, that’s not it. They like beautiful women too but they want to see different kinds of women.

Oda: They like breasts but want girls with small breasts?

RG: No, Oda. They just want more gender equality in One Piece, like in real life.

Oda: There are small breasted girls in real life?!

RG: ……………….

Oda: ………………

RG: Okay. Let’s end it here. Thank you so much for joining us today Oda-sensei. See you next time on Meet The Geek. Goodbye!

Oda: …Wait. Are ugly girls real too?